Old-time music jam session in Boone NC.

How to deal with loneliness

Do you ever get lonely?

I often get this question: Do you ever get lonely RVing and traveling alone?

The simple answer is no. I enjoy being by myself. Maybe I enjoy it too much.

Definition of loneliness. It's a feeling of discomfort or distress that can occur when someone perceives a gap between their desired and actual social connections.

Many times, I find myself thinking I should go out and socialize more with people. I often feel like I should do it rather than like it's something I want to do.

Here's an Example

I've been going to an old-time music jam session in downtown Boone, NC, for the last few Thursday nights. I enjoy the music and the camaraderie. People of all ages (college students and senior citizens) get together and enjoy playing old-time music—which is different from bluegrass.

I haven't found any old-time or bluegrass music jam sessions in Costa Rica. That's one of the reasons I sold my banjo, but I'm going to take my fiddle with me. I did find a square dance group.

The jam session is held in downtown Boone in a large white house called the Jones House. It was built in 1909 and has been converted into a Community Center.

Almost everyone is friendly, but they don't want to make the first move

With this thought in mind, make the first move and speak to the person beside you on the bus or in the restaurant.

The way to get invited to gatherings is to start your own gathering and then invite the interesting people you meet. When you make the first move, you will meet a lot of interesting people.

Another Example

I live near the little town of Grecia in Costa Rica, and every Wednesday at noon, a group of about 25 or so gringos (or ex-pats) get together for lunch. I never know who will show up, but it's always a lively and exciting get-together.

If you find yourself getting lonely or bored in just about any area of the world, with a little effort, you can find a tribe that you would enjoy hanging out with.

Anywhere in the world, you can search www.meetup.com or go to Facebook.com/groups/whatever you're interested in. Do this, and you'll find like-minded people to hang with.

You can feel lonely even if you're traveling with a significant other. You can also feel lonely in a room full of people or while walking on a busy sidewalk.

The key to being happy with your life is not to feel guilty if you enjoy being alone and don't feel obligated to socialize all the time. Do what makes you happy.

One final point: Loneliness is contatious. The more you're around people who are lonely, the more likely you are to feel lonely. Keep this point in mind.

Bottom line: Many gurus and so-called YouTube influencers are always talking about all the exciting things they've been doing, but don't feel like you're a failure if you're not always doing exciting things. If you enjoy mostly being by yourself and only occasionally doing things with others, remember it's your life. Do what makes you happy. That's what I do.

P.S. Thanks to everyone who took the time to review the two book covers last week and give me your opinion. The black book cover was the overwhelming favorite, so I'll be going with that one when I publish the book. Since I'm super busy getting my motorhome ready to sell, I won't be working on the book until I get to Costa Rica in January.